April 13, 2022

2022 CL flight Reviews

• Derek Zoolander = With the Blue Steel looks of Knott, the epic flow of Brock, the stoic stance of Feeley and Schmitt, and the constant flow of Orange Mocha Frappacinos from Pearson, this group is poised for some fun...and perhaps even a Trophy, albeit one made for ants.

• Hansel = This one fits well, but mostly because its filled with a bunch of Gretel's. This group is "Vane".

• Mugatu = Ellrich is built just like Will Ferrell, just look at the belly and you'll know, I think he even has that same belly dimple. This, in combination with Berney's shenanigans, should be enough to deserve the group name of Mugatu. It doesn't hurt that Everything Bregel, JD Smith, and Mr. Legweak are included.

• Evil DJ = If there is anyone in CL that could pull off the role of the Evil DJ it would be Mr. Ryan P. Normandeau. But what is a great DJ without a solid Hype Man? In comes McGets to keep the party rolling, while rolling, obviously. The good thing with this group is that these two animals more than counter the Santry/Smith/Welch rule following. Side note: Gary wears his wife's pants during the most stressful Golf events, as they provide ample pressure to the groin region.

• Meekus = "Exsqueeze me, but have you ever heard of styling gel?" Well, we all know that Duke has! Maybe he can impart his Meekus-like wisdom during the rounds this year. After all, "Models help people" and I think the guy with twins could use some serious help. Additionally, if any group could benefit from some cosmetic surgery, it would be this crew following their next freak gasoline fight accident.

• Matilda Jeffries = This chic is hot, not unlike the wives of this group. But if I am being honest, one of them does hold a slight advantage over the others.

• Maury Ballstein = I grew up in an environment where a large portion of my closest friends were Jewish. If I learned one lesson from these friendships, it was that you have to be patient when dealing with the Larry David's of the world. If putting up with Redfield were an Olympic sport, I would be the Sean White to Redfield's "Half-pipe". Then we have Bojo, who has more friends over 70 and in assisted living centers than Maury himself, Connor, who manages Money, and Pollock the cardiologist. If I didn't know any better I'd think our real names are Bojanowstein, Connorburg, Pollockanski, Reidfeld, and Kalleinfelder.

• Katinka = This Henchwoman was the perfect right hand of Mugatu. She was sexy, foreign, and could take a punch. Given we all expect this "group of death" to have some epic matches, they all better have tuned up their ability to take a punch, lick the blood away, and keep fighting. All I can say is that I am "pyne-ing" to see some of these match ups.